Embracing my vulnerability: an ostomate journey

01 November 2024
The invaluable role of support from family, friends, and partners cannot be under estimated. Credit: Adboe Stock/Marco

Ostomate Andressa Alvarez discusses how it is important to grieve your pre-stoma life and embrace the new

I saw myself like a dry branch in a vase, without soil, without leaves, without flowers, without vitality, I remember thinking as I faced the reality of living with a colostomy. After seven surgeries in 1 year, including two ileostomies and a final colostomy, my body felt like a barren landscape. My dreams, my plans, my life – everything seemed to have withered away.

The questions echoed in my mind: ‘What if I hadn’t had the operation? What if I had waited longer? What if...’ But deep down, I knew that these questions could not change the reality of my situation. The colostomy bag was a constant reminder of the challenges I faced and the life I had lost.

I felt like a prisoner in my own body, trapped in a cycle of anger, denial and grief. But a small spark of hope remained. I knew that I could not let this define me. I had to find a way to move forward, to create a new life for myself.

That spark of hope ignited a journey of acceptance and growth. I learned to embrace my vulnerability, seeking support from loved ones and professionals. I allowed myself to grieve the loss of my old life, but I also started to envision a new future.

Self-compassion became my guiding light. I learned to treat myself with kindness and understanding, recognising that I was worthy of love and care, even with my imperfections. I discovered the power of self-care, nurturing my body and mind through exercise, meditation and simple pleasures.

Slowly, like a dry branch receiving nourishment, I started to bloom. I found joy in the present moment, appreciating the beauty of nature, the warmth of the sun on my skin and the laughter of loved ones. I discovered new passions and hobbies, and I began to see my ostomy as a part of my journey, not a defining characteristic.

My journey hasn’t been easy, but it has been transformative

Today, I stand tall like a vibrant flower, resilient and full of life. My journey hasn’t been easy, but it has been transformative. I’ve learned to embrace the unexpected, to find strength in vulnerability, and to create a new reality that is filled with joy, love and purpose.

If you’re reading this and find yourself in a similar situation, please know that you are not alone. There is hope, there is healing and there is a vibrant community of ostomates ready to embrace you with open arms.

Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way:

  • Embrace acceptance: It’s okay to grieve, to feel angry, to question. But don’t let those emotions hold you back. Acceptance is the first step towards healing and growth
  • Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. You deserve love and care, no matter what challenges you face
  • Cultivate self-care: Nurture your body, mind and spirit. Engage in activities that bring you joy and peace
  • Create a new reality: Don’t let your ostomy define you. You are so much more than your health condition. Create a new life for yourself, filled with purpose and passion.
  • Share your story: Your journey can inspire and empower others. Connect with fellow ostomates, share your experiences, and find strength in community.

Remember, you are not alone. We are a community of survivors, thrivers and warriors. Together, we can bloom into the beautiful beings we were always meant to be.