On 27–29 October, I competed in the Diamond United Kingdom and Ireland Pageants; an international beauty pageant celebrating the beauty and diversity of every woman. I took part for the chance to represent the UK in Las Vegas this coming July at the Regency International Pageants. I went as a representative of the West Midlands competing in the ‘Mrs’ category and walked away winning UK Ambassador. This means my dream came true and I’ve been entrusted to represent an incredible system, the UK and the disabled community in America. I’m now planning my yearly reign and the lead -up to internationals with lots in store.
I’m Jessica Mary Logan, 30 years old, the founder of Making The Invisible Visible. I live with my husband Dale and our two fur children Alfie and Roofus. I have almost 4 years’ experience as a pageant finalist and 3 years’ experience as a pageant director running my own pageant (The Warrior Charity Pageant) for those living with an invisible illness or disability.
Turning my pain into power
I want to use my title to raise global awareness and create change for those living with an invisible illness or disability. I fight multiple conditions myself but I’m mainly impacted by IBD, myalgic encephalomyelitis or chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS) and mental health. I now live without my colon, rectum and appendix as a result of my IBD, which was diagnosed as acute severe ulcerative colitis.
Although stoma surgery saved my life, I was suicidal for the first 6 months. I didn’t realise how unwell I was, so I was in complete shock that I needed life-changing surgery in the same week as my diagnosis. Being close to death at any age is scary and I certainly never expected to be in this situation at the age of 25. I struggled to accept the changes to my body after surgery because I didn’t see any representation of medical devices or scars in the beauty industry or media. This made me feel abnormal, unworthy and ashamed of myself. I battled to find self- love but one day I decided to throw myself out of my comfort zone and get in front of the camera (which is something I did in my teens). This was the best decision I ever made. I felt like a new person and finally saw true beauty in my journey. I now turn my pain into power and use my voice to help others. I’m incredibly honoured to be the first UK j-poucher, person with no colon and past ostomate going to internationals to break the stigma and the poo taboo.
Battling with mental health
Unfortunately, my ME/CFS, leaves me bedbound for days, sometimes weeks ,and I had to make the hard decision to give up my career and my plans for children because of this. My health is too unpredictable and a simple task like shopping or washing up can take it out of me for the entire day. This has created a mental battle and financial struggles within itself but I’m grateful pageantry has given me back a purpose in life when I felt so lost. I want to show others like myself that we can still achieve our dreams despite our limitations or restrictions. The battle may be 10 times harder but we can’t let it define us and in all honesty, I’m too stubborn to let it. I now try to make the most of my good days and rest when it’s needed although there are times I overdo it so I’ll have a big crash but what’s life, if you can’t live it?
Jessica on the catwalk
Creating understanding around stomas
A lot of my projects focus on raising awareness of invisible illnesses and disabilities because I believe education is key to ending the discrimination we receive on a day-to-day basis. There is a lack of understanding and more needs to be done to stop the stigma. We are entitled to use disabled parking spaces and toilets but a lot of people still pass judgement because we have a ‘normal’ appearance or we don’t look sick. Many conditions take years to be diagnosed because we are ignored by those who should be listening. I was medically gaslighted and that nearly cost my life. It’s unacceptable and something needs to change. Illness or disability can happen to anyone, at any point in their lives, and it’s hard enough to battle, without society or the beauty industry making us feel unworthy. I want to show the world that being disabled, having scars or medical devices is nothing to be ashamed of.
Loving my body
I took part in the swimwear round at Diamond, which was an optional round but I knew I wanted to turn it into a movement and show my entire journey to loving my body. I represented the stoma community by attaching a stoma bag on my stomach then ripping it off to show my surgical scars or old stoma wound. I also turned to show a sign on my back which stated ‘all bodies should be celebrated’. The crowd went wild and I’ve received so many messages since saying how grateful they are for me doing what I did and how powerful it was. I also entered ‘spokesmodel’ where we had to provide a 2- minute speech and I focussed this context on the word disabled and what it means. I felt it was important to use this opportunity to spread vital awareness, although I did find it hard to fit everything into the short time. I became so emotional when I won best in spokesmodel in my category as I knew I had made an impact.
Contestants at the pageant
Winning the ambassador title has been a dream come true and I get to experience this with my best friend who was also crowned. Diamond celebrates the beauty and diversity of everyone and promotes positive body image, which is an ethos I stand by. It’s important that everyone is represented and pageantry is the most diverse industry in the beauty sector, which is why I love it so much. Since joining pageants, I have felt accepted for who I am and my visible scars have never fazed people. Instead all bodies are celebrated and this is why I dislike hearing outdated views on pageantry. Our community have hearts of gold, raise thousands for charities, help in their community and educating on important causes. I alone have raised over £9000 for multiple charities. Many people don’t realise that each contestant gets interviewed, which helps decide on the winner, and we aren’t judged on how ‘beautiful’ we look but instead on how much confidence shines through on stage. Regency International focusses on growth and opportunity whilst reflecting the style and elegance of a modern woman.
Jessica striking a pose
Plans for the future
I am excited for the journey ahead. As well as volunteering in my local community, attending events and raising funds for charity, I will also be focussing on my platform. My awareness and charity calendar was on sale after running nine empowerment photoshoots across the UK. I organised the next Warrior Charity Pageant to take place in November 2023 and I’ll be interviewing fighters like myself. I also hope to launch talks on ‘disability/chronic illness’ and ‘discrimination in schools and work places’ in the new year.
Posing with an award
The 2023 charity calendar raised £500. I’ve since organised six empowerment photoshoots across the UK for the 2024 calendar with another two in mind. I’m running two fundraising events to help me get to internationals along with a monthly photo competition, training day and I’m in the process of starting up a local support group for those with invisible illnesses and disabilities. Schools and work places have been contacted but I’m awaiting responses, so I’m hoping I can launch these talks in a few months’ time. I’ve been having fun designing my national costume to represent the UK and I’m also creating my spokesmodel speech and thinking of plans for my swimwear routine. I know it’s going to be draining on my body but completely worth the experience, and I cannot wait to make our community proud.
Thanks for reading, and love from your Diamond Ambassador 2022–23.
Jessica Logan writes about celebrating body positivity with a stoma.
Instagram: @jessicarrrmary
Tik Tok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMFfv7RtV/
Website: www.makingtheinvisiblevisible.org.uk